Destructive Patterns That Destroy Our Peace And Happiness

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2. Keeping a Death Grip on Guilt

Many people seem to have a death grip on guilty feelings about something in their past. Does this change what happened? Are these feelings doing you or anyone else any good? Of course not. Everyone makes mistakes. Of course, if you could see into the future and know the future outcome of something, you would do things differently. Realize that you did or did not do something based on what you knew and who you were at the time. The goal of guilt is to realize that we made a mistake, learn from this, take corrective actions (such as apologizing, if possible) and then move on. Holding onto shame, regrets, and guilt only leads to severe emotional dysfunction and it will forever keep happiness out of your grasp.


3. Holding on to Sadness or Depression

Don’t confuse sadness or depression with grief. Grief is a natural process people must go through when they lose a loved one or something dear to them. Grief becomes dysfunctional when you cannot heal from it and you cannot move forward. See a therapist if you feel this applies to you.

Sadness or depression because life does not always go your way is another story. Some people choose to become angry about life’s ups and downs, others take on the “woe is me” attitude. The truth is that life isn’t always wine, roses, and chocolates. Sometimes life sucks and it hands us a raw deal. A negative outlook on life, especially in combination with a lack of low self-esteem, can cause criminal depression. At the same time, depression also represents how we negatively process the past and the present. This is why drugs alone do not always help those who suffer from depression.

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