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The Real Reasons You Hold on to Stress, Even Though it’s Killing You
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5. You are Avoiding Intimacy
Being too busy and too stressed to do anything but give someone 5 minutes of your time or skipping parties and other social engagements because you are “swamped” or falling into bed every night too exhausted for even a few minutes of pillow talk, is a sure sign that what you are trying to avoid is intimacy on any level. It’s true that people will hurt you from time to time, and they will disappoint you eventually, but staying detached by being super busy and stressed out is not the answer. Who wants to live a life that is devoid of all human attachment?
You can actually learn to manage a great deal of the stress in your life by looking at each stressor and honestly ask yourself these three questions:
- Can I control it?
- Can I change it?
- Should I let it go?
For example, if your commute absolutely drives you crazy every day, pose those questions to yourself. Can you control it? Nope. There is no way to control traffic. Can you change it? Possibly. Depending on your circumstances and city. Maybe you can change your route, change your hours, or even change your means of transportation (take the bus rather than drive). However, if for some reason you can’t change it, then should you let it go? Yep. You don’t have much choice. Learn ways to just ignore traffic and focus on something else. You might play your favorite music and sing in your car, listen to an audiobook on a CD or learn a new language.
SEE ALSO: Make Your Own Herbal Tinctures for Anxiety and Stress Relief
So pick out a few things in your life that really stress you out and to each of those things ask yourself the three questions above.
You can see life as a pain in the butt, as something frightening, or as an adventure waiting to happen. Take charge of your life. Control it, change it, or let it go. The choice is entirely yours.
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