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Everything You Ever Thought About Beards Is True. (Gross!)
Beards really are the hottest trend for men right now. However, before you decide to grow those chin locks, you should consider some of the health issues that go along with beards.
The coarseness of beard hair can provide a very ripe environment for bacteria. Things get trapped inside beards, making them perfect places for bacteria to grow and develop into some pretty disgusting things.
You should also know that viruses can be easily passed from person to person. Viruses can live on your beard for days, which means that you can pass them from person to person. Nice.
Also, you can end up with a skin infection. Sometimes, folliculitis, a painful inflammation caused by ingrown hairs, can lead to painful bumps, which can drain. They can be quite ugly, they hurt, and they can sometimes leave scars.
It seems as though you can’t walk down the street anymore without running into someone sporting a beard. It used to be that owning a sports car or a big truck was the ultimate sign of being a Macho Man, but today, it appears that a beard is the thing.
Are you wondering about whether or not you should grow a beard? Consider the following before you do so:
- Beards are Aging – It’s true. The beards on most men tend to make them look older, especially once that beard goes salt and pepper. When you are 19, this sounds great, right? However, for anyone over the age of 30, unless you are lucky enough to have one of those baby faces like Daniel Radcliffe, think twice.
- Beards are Germ Traps – We aren’t kidding. Coarse facial hair traps food, germs, and for things like dairy products, they can go rancid in hours. Gross. Also, men who have beards tend to touch them a great deal, which transfers the grease and dirt from your hands to your mouth, which then gets spread to whomever (and whatever) they kiss. Double gross.
- Beards are Scratchy – Although most men stroke their beards, telling you that they do so because they are soft, for women, they are anything but. It is a rare woman who talks about how much they love their man’s beard, so before you decide to grow one, you might want to discuss this with your significant other.
- Beards Are Not Sexy – Every single male celebrity who has ever grown a beard has done so for a role where they needed to look “scroungy.” They did not do so because they wanted to be “sexier.” Perhaps the only exception to this rule is George Clooney, who would look good with a cat glued to his face. Unless you are related to him, think twice.
- Beards Are Not Magic – Unless you are truly a wizard, beards do not give you magic powers. Seriously, although they might be the latest trend, they do nothing to increase your sex appeal, your income, or your intelligence.
- Beards Are a Joke – Sorry guys. If you love your beard, more power to you, but to most people, they are nothing more than something to joke about. You know, storing snacks in there for later, allowing birds to take up residence, giving women rashes when you kiss them. Ok, so the last one isn’t funny, but you get the picture.
Now some beards are quite impressive but they are probably meant to intimidate their opponents, such as the beard that the Republic of Ireland top soccer player Anthony Pilkington wears. If you are a professional sports player, we can understand wearing one. If you regularly play the part of Father Time or Santa Claus in movies, we understand. Otherwise, beards are more of a means for men to appear more macho in front of other men, whether they want to admit it or not.
Do others see beards as more macho? Studies say yes. One study, done at the University of New South Wales, found that men with beards were perceived as being healthier, stronger, and have more of the alpha male leadership temperament. Call it the Cave Man factor.
If you are growing a beard for the Movember movement, to raise funds for cancer research, we understand that. We are all for a good cause, so go ahead and grow that puppy to raise awareness and money for whatever health issue you deem most important.
However, when March rolls around, do everyone a favor and take it off. Take it all off.