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How to Become a Zombie in 10 Easy Steps
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8. Forget Books
Zombies don’t need to read. Reading is a waste of time. Reading expands the mind, keeps you up to date with the latest technological advances, improves the vocabulary, and takes you places that your body might never be able to travel to. Zombies have no need of books, so don’t waste valuable time reading.
SEE ALSO: Are You Prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse?
9. Love Those GMOs
Since zombies don’t care what they eat, feel free to eat plenty of GMO foods. There’s even a new GMO fish and pig that should be in supermarkets soon! What more could a zombie ask for but food that poisons the body?!
10. Chug Those Sodas
Let’s not forget a zombies favorite drink: high fructose corn syrup filled soda! You really cannot call yourself a zombie unless you chug plenty of sodas throughout the day. Of course, if you are a zombie concerned about your weight, you can always make the switch to soda filled with aspartame. Soda will put you on the fast track to diabetes, obesity and heart disease. Aspartame will only give you Alzheimer’s and cancer, but who cares? Not you, not if you truly want to become one of the walking dead.
However, if you aren’t interested in living life like a zombie, if you want to live, not spend time like the walking dead, avoid the above 10 steps. Eat wholesome foods, avoid soda, read books, get exercise, spend time in the sun, and ask questions.
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