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How to Become a Zombie in 10 Easy Steps
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You don’t need to watch the latest episode of The Walking Dead or go to your favorite amusement park to see zombies. All you really have to do is take a walk down any big city street. You will see hundreds, perhaps even thousands of zombies walking around. The only difference between the zombies you see on television and the zombies on the street is that the zombies on TV eat human flesh.
Zombies seem to be a thing of great interest lately. Kids dress like them at Halloween, and it seems as if everyone wants to know how to be an extra on that popular television show. Are you interested in becoming one of the walking dead? Want to know how to be like those you see on the streets?
Keep reading; becoming a zombie is much easier than you think! We have 10 easy steps towards becoming the zombie the government would like you to be.
1. Drink Fluoridated Water
Chances are excellent that your city water is filled with a neurotoxin called fluoride. This chemical has been linked to heart disease, Alzheimer’s disease, and lower IQ scores. Is it any wonder that you see people walking around in a daze? Too many people believe that fluoride is good for them. If you want to start your trip to zombie land, this is a good place to begin.
2. Eat Plenty of Junk Food
You’ve seen them: people walking around with a super-sized bag of chips or cookies in their hands, endlessly stuffing them into their mouths. They always have this sort of stupefied look on their faces, don’t they? Junk food has been linked to numerous chronic diseases, including Crohn’s disease, Alzheimer’s disease, and many more. Junk foods are filled with additives designed to make you fat, happy, and addicted. If you want to continue down the path to zombie-hood, start stuffing your face with that mega package of chocolate flavored cereal right now.
3. Television
Television in and of itself isn’t “bad.” The problem is that people watch entirely too much “junk” television. This influences your view of the world, making you believe whatever the producers want you to think is true. It takes away from important relationships, causes you to spend money on things you don’t need, and robs you of valuable mental energy. It has also been shown to drastically shorten your life. Of course, zombies don’t give a crap about any of those things, which is why you can find zombies in just about any public place, sticking junk foods into their mouths as they watch endless hours of television.
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